Monday, 14 April 2014

Positivity One

*warning for mild swearing*

Today I'm beginning a new 'series' about positivity. This was originally meant just for my YouTube channel, but due to literally shutting down every time I open my mouth to speak, I find it difficult to explain what I'm saying so I figured it would be a good idea to write blogposts about this topic too and a few of you have told me that you're looking forward to this post. I don't like to use the exact words so I'd say that I am not a very 'happy' person, but since watching MissMeghanMakeup's videos on positivity over Christmas I've became a much more positive person. A lot of people say that positivity can solve mental health problems and in my opinion they don't as it is far more complicated and deep but I do agree that having a positive attitude makes day to day life more bearable and prevents a lot of people from going down a darker path.

The topic for this post is being positive towards and about those around you. My mantra for the past few months has been that if you don't want to criticise yourself and if you wish to have better self esteem, You need to not criticise every move that everyone around you makes. Before I sound hypocritical, I have to point out that there is nobody on this planet who can say they've never gossiped about someone, It's in our human nature to judge those around us. There is nothing wrong with gossiping but there's is a fine line. There's nothing wrong with mild gossip if you're with family or close friends, You aren't unnecessarily criticising someone and it isn't repeated anywhere else. The line is crossed when you gossip out in the open , Gossip is vicious and you just sound like a nasty b*tch - Then it's wrong.

The whole 'mantra' is based on accepting that everyone has flaw, Everyone has positive traits and everyone has negative traits and that it takes good and bad to make a good person. Nobody is a one hundred percent morally 'good' person. If you're religious you might say that nobody is sin free and if you're a Hannah Montana fan you might say that nobody is perfect ! What I mean is, That with anyone - Friend, Family, Acquaintance - It's important to see the good in them before you see the bad in them. I'm the kind of person who prefers to see the good in someone over the bad to a certain point which can either help me see situations in a naive way or a mature way.

I feel that we're currently living in this culture where it's apparently cool to 'hate' everyone. This is quite frustrating to listen to and read on a daily basis because nobody hates everyone. I'm not about to sound all like "LOVE EVERYONE GUYS" because there are some people you just can't stand as a result of not being able to put up with their sh*t any longer. Hate is a strong word and the majority of people we claim to 'hate' we don't even know well enough to be able to form negative opinions on.

We also have this tendency to unnecessarily judge every single word and every single action of those around us. In my mind, Judging is when somebody is in court and the jury is trying to decide whether they're innocent or guilty and if they're bad or good. It's all to do with morality and we should have the moral thinking to know whether someone is good or not, That's a decision we should be able to make ourselves and that's where we get influenced by other people ! It really frustrates me though that you one word or one action can impact what others think of you ten years later. If every bad thing we ever said or did was to account for our entire personality, None of us would have any friends and we wouldn't want to speak for eachother !

People don't always mean what they say and people don't always think before they speak and unfortunately words cannot be taken back and are used against people for god knows how long and all of a sudden you're deemed a bad person. It doesn't hurt to think outside the box when someone says or does something hurtful or unusual. This doesn't mean justifying or making excuses for their actions but you do have to sometimes think "why is this person acting like this" or are they being influenced by trying to fit in" or maybe they're having a bad day and don't even realise that their words or actions may affect someone. If you hear a negative opinion or rumour about someone remember that one - What you're hearing mightn't even be true and two - Does that single word or action really account for their entire personality and does it mean they'll do that again ? It can be difficult to give someone the benefit of the doubt, but even if they turn out to be a horrible cow at least you can say you tried !

We're looking for perfection and it's something we can't find. The seek for perfection isn't just restricted to appearances as we're looking for everyone we know to be have this perfect personality which nobody has. There is bad in everyone and we can't help that ! We have to remember that there is more good than bad in majority of us and again there is unfortunately people who are the opposite but in that case you just keep your distance and pay attention to them !

If you don't make a hobby of judging others then you won't make a habit of judging yourself. Thank you so much for reading this post and you can watch my video if you prefer personality over font by clicking here !

Grace x

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  1. I loved how you jumped from religion to hannah montanna hah ! Great post, really great to see a positivity post about being positive around others. Well written!x

  2. I think this is such a wonderful thing to blog about. It can be really easy to get bogged down by negativity. Staying positive impacts every part of your life for the better. I like what you said - that everyone has a flaw. It's so true and oddly enough, it makes everything seem a little better. We are never alone!

    1. Thanks so much :) and I definitely agree with you !

  3. Well done Grace, such a good perception of positive thinking...another one you might have heard through the orange brigade is ' it's OK not to be OK ! and its absolutely OK to ask for help' of luck Trish .x


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